Walsall has a long tradition of accommodating drunks, vagrants and the socially 'different', and we are always glad to welcome new members to the Sister Dora drop-in centre, which is situated in an open air setting in the middle of town. Here, there is ample seating (wooden benches and/or the floor) and a seemingly never-ending supply of cheap white cider. The centre was recently relocated, to the confusion of its clientele, when the Sister Dora statue was moved a few yards across the square. Matters were made worse when Walsall's other public work of art, a concrete hippo (see photo), took her place. During the following weeks, a number of tramps were found wandering in a disoriented state as far afield as Bloxwich.

With the help of the information below, you will be able to find somewhere to stay, something to eat and a cheap way to get mullered.

If you stay for some time in Walsall, you may be interested in entering our pioneering 'Tramp of the Year' competition. Details and an entry form are here.

But first, some general tips on dossing in Walsall:

• Free public transport is easy to come by - simply feign mental instability (obviously this will not always be necessary for those tramps who really are mentally unstable). The trick is not to frighten anyone, merely to act in a sufficiently unpredictable way so that the bus driver/ticket inspector quickly realises it is much more than his job's worth to attempt to communicate with you. Some tips include claiming not to comprehend the concept of money, frothing slightly at the mouth, banging your head repeatedly against a window and repeatedly claiming to be best mates with an unspecified bus driver who will be along soon and give you a free ride anyway.
• Free entertainment is put on in the town centre on most weekend evenings. The majority is provided by the student population of the town and their inability to oversee the coexistence of five pints of lager and a donner kebab in the same part of their digestive tract.
• Open air late night boxing is also popular on Friday and Saturday nights, with bouts being arranged at very short notice, usually round about chucking-out time. Drunkard -vs- Drunkard bouts are the most popular, with a variety of drunken-master style techniques on show. If you are lucky you might also catch a Drunkard -vs- Bouncer fight (often one-sided affairs that can be over very quickly) or a mixed-sex Drunkard -vs- Drunkard's girlfriend bout (in which only the girlfriend is allowed to attack, the Drunkard having to rely on a series of defensive moves and reasoning, hoping that his adversary will eventually collapse in a sobbing heap on the pavement).